what to say to a guy who doesn t want to use condoms
This National Condom Month, we teamed up with our SPEEK peer educators to talk about how to talk to your partner about condoms.
Even though condoms are an essential part of safer sex, a lot of teens however don't use them consistently. Nigh 1/3 of penis-havers and most ½ of vagina-havers said that they did not utilise a condom the last fourth dimension they had penis-in-vagina (PIV) sexual practice. At that place are lots of reasons for this, but ane is lack of advice between partners. When you're in the moment, it can exist hard to speak up—even if your partner is usually supportive and respectful. And if your partner isn't listening, or making excuses, it can feel really hard to insist. To aid, our SPEEK peer educators have put together a list of common excuses to not wear condoms, and means you lot can reply.
Condoms are an essential role of safer sex. They're not only great at preventing pregnancy (when used correctly, every time), simply also protect y'all against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Talking nigh sex can feel awkward at first, but it'southward an of import role of your sexual health.
If your partner doesn't want to habiliment a condom (or doesn't desire you to habiliment a condom), yous tin can but say something like, "We can either use a safe, or non accept sex. It's up to yous." You can also explicate why condoms are important to yous, and help them understand where you are coming from. Bank check out this postal service for more than advice.
This does Non hateful that you owe your partner an caption for wanting to utilize condoms. They should respect your boundaries no matter what. But having a script for what you want to say tin get in easier to tell your partner what you lot want. Here are 6 common excuses to not wear a safety, and responses to use if you e'er hear them.
1. Alibi: "It doesn't fit," "It's too tight," or "It's not comfortable."
Response: "Condoms fit almost any size penis. A safe tin agree a gallon of h2o—your penis tin can fit."
Very, very few people accept penises too large for normal-sized condoms. And even if you or your partner is one of those few, you notwithstanding have lots of options. Go for the XL size!
2. Excuse: "I don't know how to put it on."
Response: "I'll help you lot put it on," or "Let'southward learn how to put ane on together."
If your partner is telling the truth—and not just offer up a lame excuse—that'due south awesome! Information technology takes courage to admit you don't know something. This is a great opportunity to learn how to properly put on a prophylactic.
3. Excuse: "Information technology will feel better without a safety."
Response: "A prophylactic is not just for my safety, but also for yours," or "It's simply not worth the risk. Sexual practice with a condom is better than no sex at all, right?"
You could also try, "It might feel ameliorate now, but information technology'll feel a lot worse later if you get an STI."
4. Excuse: "I want to feel y'all inside of me," or "I want to be inside of you."
Response: "You'll barely detect it once we get started."
You tin also offer to buy or use condoms that are particularly designed to experience like most nothing.
v. Excuse: "It volition feel more than intimate."
Response: "A condom has nada to do with intimacy. How nosotros experience about each other creates intimacy."
Or: "I tin't be intimate with you lot if I'm worried about getting pregnant or getting an STI."
6. Excuse: "I'k tryna make you lot my baby daddy," or "I wanna be your baby daddy."
Response: "I am not set up to be a father," or "I am not fix to be a female parent."
It is not ok to decide for your partner that information technology's time to have a child, or for your partner to decide to get you pregnant. Y'all might desire to consider non having sex for a while, or being in charge of your own birth control if you're not already.
What information technology all comes down to is that it is always more safe to wear a condom than to not wear one, even if yous're not thrilled with the sensation, or feel like it "interrupts the mood." In the end, it'due south a pocket-size price to pay for pregnancy prevention and protecting yourself and your partner from STIs. If you have a vagina and desire more than control over your sexual health, consider using internal condoms. You can insert them up to eight hours earlier sexual practice, and relax knowing your protection is taken intendance of.
The Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center is located in New York City. It provides comprehensive, confidential, judgment free health care at no charge to over ten,000 young people every year. This cavalcade is non intended to provide medical communication, professional diagnosis, opinion, handling or services to y'all or to whatsoever other individual, only full general information for education purposes only.
Source: https://www.teenhealthcare.org/blog/6-excuses-to-not-use-a-condom-and-how-to-respond/
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